(Author-Blogger) Carline L. Fleig

I am a clinician (Nurse Practitioner), a daily meditator, a novice photographer and have a joy for traveling, writing and interacting with others. I am also a survivor as so many humans are on this journey called life. My story of survival was truly a blessing in disguise but a story of survival none less. I would not recognize this echo in myself until years later. It was 1989 when my oldest son was born, eight weeks too soon. Rushed to the local hospital with relentless abdominal pain and hypertension, I would soon be diagnosed with HELLP (Hemolysis, Elevated Liver Enzymes, Low Platelets) Syndrome, an obstetrical emergency requiring immediate delivery. Under the care of a close friend, I was transferred to a high risk center where most of what I remember were sights, smells, sounds and words, yes the words uttered to my loved ones, “She may not make it but we will save the infant”, and the report of the numbers, the daunting lab results that I understood so well being a nurse. What they didn’t know was that I could still hear them through the fog and the haze. All was a blur but I eventually went home and so did my little one, 3 lbs, 11 oz and strong. He was my world, my focus, my will …

All of this would be repeated once again, 1997, eight years later when my youngest son was born, eight weeks too soon, 3 lbs, 1 oz and perfect. The trauma all began once again and under the most difficult of conditions, I would survive once more. It would take years for my soul to recognize these critical days for at those moments, my energy was spent caring for my sweet little boys. The research currently being done shows that HELLP Syndrome survivors often have unmanaged post traumatic stress in various degrees. It is my hope through theses images, through these writings, through these human interactions and travels and day to day “beings”, that we can all come closer to acknowledging our daily moments, our pains, joys, our vulnerabilities and strength, our connections, our humanity …. Our journey to healing.